Friday, November 5, 2010

I'm here, and breathing a little.

Well, I have to be honest.  My October IMAGO project really wore me out.  I loved it.  And I think I produced some writing I will really value.  And it helped focus me.  And to emote all along.  And I was able to focus my creative energy in important ways.  And I had to write, which is 50% of wanting to be a writer.  But, at least an hour a day of writing, plus school, work, the kids, a broken computer, being sick, and a very busy month, November 1st came, and I crashed.  But, I'm gearing up to get back in business.  Soon.  Thank you all for reading, I'm amazed at the support I've gotten via email, facebook, in person, etc.  It's felt wonderful.

And as for Halloween, we had a wonderful day.  We went to the cemetery, and the day was sunny and clear.  Just like the day of our sweet girl's funeral.  And our other sweet girls played and talked about stones and boxes.  It was just their way of understanding.  Eleanor tried her best to get it.  Of course, she doesn't understand death, but she listened to me and tried to speak to my sadness.  She told me not to be sad, because Sophie was just in a box.  And she would get out if she could, but she couldn't.  Just because she is a baby and babies can't climb.  Well, that is kind of an upsetting thought.  But, from a three year old's perspective, it shows the infinite feeling of existence.  And of course I want my kids to know the realities of things.  But I don't see any reason to impress upon her the many sad reasons people are in "boxes."  If her only association with inability to rise is newbornness, I'm happy for her obliviousness.  And Josephine put candy on all of the graves.  And didn't even try to understand anything.  And that's ok too.  It was lovely.

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