Friday, November 19, 2010

"40 and ok" by Paula Scherer Price

When I turned 30 I had a mid-life crisis.  I started panicking because, in my opinion, I had nothing to show for myself.    I was still going to school part-time and it was taking me forever to finish.  I was in a lukewarm relationship with no real future.  I was living in the middle of nowhere without friends or family around.  As a result, I reassessed my life and took inventory of what I wanted to change.  I decided to go back to school and just take the lumps as a poor college student.
Now looking through the lens of time, I see that all of those things that I felt were disadvantages, (living in the middle of nowhere, no friends or family, lukewarm relationship), actually were all things that helped me so much in reaching my goals.  When I started school full-time, I could focus completely on school because I had no friends or family to distract me.  Because I lived in the middle of nowhere, my cost of living was totally affordable and I was able to work part-time, still pay all of my bills, and attend a wonderful private university.  The lukewarm relationship that I was in taught me so many valuable lessons on independence and managing my finances.
Now that it is time for me to turn 40, I’m not panicking like I thought I would.  I received my Bachelor of Science degree in Political Science in 2003 with a cumulative average of 2.97, (I usually round up thoughJ). I ended up moving back home to Maryland and met the love of my life, I’m married and I have a beautiful angel of a baby girl.  She loves me and the first and only words that she has said for the past two months non-stop is Mama!  Mama mama!  Over and over again.  I never grow tired of hearing it because she says it with different intensities; sometimes very low and soft, and sometimes very loud with passion! 
I have “outted” myself to co-workers and friends about my age and the genuine shock that I have received in response makes me feel good.  So I write all of this to say that I’m ok with turning 40, I do have some other goals that I would still like to reach, but even if I am never given anything more in life, I will be happy with what I have at this very moment. 

1 comment:

  1. Very nice. The middle of nowhere can be cold, especially with only lukewarm company. Sex And the City, Costume National perfume and Zhane CD's can only do so much. Glad you found happiness. Good writing!